They Wouldn't Dare
by Jessa L'Rynn
Summary: Rose Tyler is having the worst day ever. Even planning ahead for a stop on the peaceful planet of Desteria can't prepare her for this one.
1. Chapter 1

Part One

Rose Tyler was having the worst damned day in a very long time. Considering that most of her days ended with her exhausted, or covered in muck, or shouting incoherently, or locked up, or running for her life, while the natives hurled rocks, spears, bullets, or explosives (depending on their time frame and natural proclivities) at their retreating backs, this was truly saying something. Even those days where she ended up doing all of the above (except maybe the shouting, she usually swore quietly instead while running) didn't compare to this day.

First of all, their destination hadn't quite worked out right. They were supposed to have arrived on Desteria during the height of summer and arrived on a beach. Rose, expecting a little deviation (it was the TARDIS after all, and her sense of humor was warped, to say the least) had dressed in clothes fit for autumn and put her swim things and her running shoes (forget towels - always know where your trainers are) into a bag. She wore something nice - dark jeans and a pale pink shirt with a neat little sweater over it and dainty shoes with a low heel. When the Doctor looked askance at her attire, she graciously informed him he was taking her out before they retired to the beach.

He had grinned like the brilliant idiot he was and grandly flung opened the doors. It looked positively gorgeous, a warm bright sun glinting down, not on a beach (of course) but on a shining bright city at the edge of a huge mountain lake. Rose had shrugged off his befuddled expression and took his hand to lead him on.

Everything went straight downhill from there. Considering they were on the side of a small mountain range, there was an awful lot of hill for it to go down. Over lunch, she and the Doctor had flirted with their usual casual nonchalance but for some reason it had effected her rather more strongly than usual and she ended up leaving the restaurant hot and extremely bothered. In a desperate bid to get away from him, she suggested he go find some information on what there was to do around here while she went and visited the shops off the little square in which they'd found their restaurant.

For the first time in the entire history of eternity, the Doctor had wanted to shop. Not only did he want to shop, but he wanted to shop with her. And she was thinking terrible, horrible, not platonic thoughts about him while he trustingly held her hand and she had to get away, had to, or risk throwing him up against a wall and snogging him senseless. While he stared at her in wild eyed bemusement, no doubt, and calculated how long it would take to set the coordinates for the Powell estate.

A clever escape plan came in the form of a tiny, brightly colored little pink shop set on the corner. In the window, there was a gaudy display of frilly purple knickers. Rose had thrown herself into supposedly spontaneous raptures of delight and demanded they go in at once. His high and mighty Time Lordy-ness had quailed visibly and turned the exact same shade of pink as the shop and blustered like his former incarnation and declared that he couldn't go in, as someone obviously had to find out what there was to do around here. Then he had wandered off, looking for all the world like a cat that chewed through a power cord and muttering to himself something about 'heliotrope'. Whatever that was.

The next thing wrong had happened immediately. Rose went into the shop because she couldn't see any way past it with him watching her nervously out the corner of his eye as he walked off. She was promptly seized by a chatty saleswoman who reminded her alarmingly of her mum, even to the bleached blonde hair and strictly hands-on approach to the business. She dragged Rose over to a sales display and, since everything was going wrong, there were no knickers on it.

There were, however, solutions to her current predicament. Unfortunately, they weren't in any way, shape, or form solutions she wanted to think about. And they came in every way, shape and form, too, apparently, designed to help her... She had blushed vividly and tried to escape by claiming she just came in to look at the purple knickers.

So she was treated to a ten minute presentation of why she didn't want frilly knickers, she wanted one of these... toys. Well... maybe...

Rose had firmly stamped on that and held her ground. But that one did... no.

So then, she got fifteen minutes on how to use frilly purple knickers to ensnare her man. Rose, knowing that, A) her man wasn't a man at all, per say, and that B) he would probably just look right past her in the frilly purple knickers (or at best insist that they were no good for running away from nasty, scary things), resigned herself to pretending that she had a Slitheen's chance in a pickle factory of getting him past the flirting stage. She didn't, in fact. Heck, the hypothetical Slitheen in the speculated factory had a better chance of getting him not to notice it than she did of getting him to notice her, even if she left the frilly purple knickers - and everything else - behind.

After spending almost another ten minutes trying to dislodge the overly helpful Jackie Tyler clone, Rose had realized she'd never escape if she didn't buy something. So... well, why not?

She had her package wrapped for privacy, tucked it into her swim bag and went to find the Doctor.

It was raining when she came out.

Actually, "raining" didn't quite cover what it was doing. The sky had fallen open and all the water on the planet was streaming in like the Thames down onto her head. She shrieked in indignation and made for the nearest awning where she stood huddled and freezing amidst a crowd of aliens who mostly resembled human beings.

There, she was chatted up by no less than six bedraggled and unattractive aliens. The last was so obnoxious, she began to wonder if she could pretend her sunscreen was pepper spray. Then she began to wonder if her sunscreen would work as well as pepper spray. Then, she began to figure she'd need neither sunscreen nor pepper spray, because she was going to Jackie Tyler the cocky little bastard into oblivion if he didn't just bugger off. So she told him so.

Then, she gave up and strode out into the seething downpour.

Half-way across the square, her heel had snapped off, knocking her flying into a suspiciously perfectly oval shaped mud puddle. Her clothes were now filthy as well as sopping wet. Combined, it all made her suspect that she'd really irritated some trickster god this morning, which was odd because the only trickster god she knew personally hadn't seemed particularly annoyed per say when he had wandered off in a cloud of baffled pin stripes.

And remained missing. Ok, so, in summary, not a good day at all.

Ten minutes later, she finally found him. He was being dragged across the square, not in handcuffs or chains or whatever he was usually dragged out in (laser binders, manacles, shackles, ropes, straight jacket, the list went on and on) but with what looked for all the world like those ten foot pole thingees they used on nature shows to touch things that... she got the picture. She flopped over to try and rescue him or plead for his release (her shoe was still broken, which didn't seem possible when it was only an inch high, but there you go) but he shook his head vigorously at her. Still, she made her way into the crowd watching him being hauled off. He bumped up against her and she made to grab for him, but he seemed to push her away. The crowds closed in despite the rain, and he was gone.

Rose stood in the middle of the square and swore quietly, every word she had ever picked up from Jack, from visiting other planets, and even a few of the Doctor's musical language. The TARDIS wouldn't translate any of them for anybody, so it didn't matter, although she did wonder what exactly she was saying. Or she would have done, if there was time for any of this.

The water cut off abruptly as though someone had thrown a switch. It was possible, after all, she supposed, if there were planets where you could get your face styled and planets where the moon really was made of something the inhabitants ate like cheese...

God, he was bloody contagious. Middle of crisis, panic situation, all the chips down, and here she was, commentating (if only in her head) on the private lives of the natives of Balhoon III. Fantastic.

That reminded her. She was apparently not being allowed to do what she would do in this situation, which of course was hold his hand, stick with him, and try to work out how to get them both out of this. That was out.

What would the Doctor do, then? Well, she'd already handled part of that with her aimless commentary and trying to get to him. She couldn't threaten anyone yet, because she didn't know who or what to threaten. And it was a trifle difficult to blow things up without explosives or the idea of what to blow up.

So the Doctor's right out. But what about her previous Doctor? Yes, blow things up, yes threaten people, but no endless yammering... assets. Check her assets. That was it.

She reached down to check her bag and discovered that, along with tossing perverted pick up lines at her that made her want to collapse his face, the annoying bloke from the awning had switched her bag. She hoped ferociously that someone made him wear her polka dot bikini.

No towel, no sunscreen, no swim clothes. She checked her pockets and found, to her surprise, that her unwanted copy of "10 Things You Should Know About Sex With Aliens" (from the pink shop) had been joined by the psychic paper, the sonic screwdriver, and his key to the TARDIS. He must have slipped them into her pocket when he bumped into her. Clever Doctor, as always.

She pulled out the psychic paper, but it was blank. She stared at it, willing it to show her something, and the lyrics to "I'm a Little Teapot" wobbled into view in an atrocious hand writing, but faded. So no hope of instructions. OK.

Right. So, what would witty Jack do?

Well, kissing things and killing things wasn't going to do her good, nor was telling stories that always ended up with her naked. She only had two of those, anyway, and they weren't very good.

Fine. She grasped frantically at straws. What would Madame du Pompadour do? Ha. Snogging things, again. Definitely out. What would... what would... what would... um... well...

Superman was no good, honestly Rose, focus.

What would Mickey do? her brain supplied, even though it was painful to think of him, now that he was gone forever into that parallel world. Mickey who'd been such a coward and so scared for so long, and had eventually managed to do such incredible things as bomb Downing Street with her in the building, try to take on Cybermen, and finally pull a scene with her almost exactly like something out of Casablanca. It was beautiful, brilliant, wonderful. Funny, clever, and now brave Mickey.

Computers! Score!

She strode off across the square - or tried to, but her broken heel wouldn't let her. Still, she held her head up and flopped along and muttered "Somebody's got to be the Tin Dog."

As she reached the side walk and started to turn off toward the library they'd found on their way into town, someone walked past her and wolf-whistled. Funny how rude things were practically culture universal. She looked down at her sodden clothes and realized why, though, very quickly.

The last of the rain had taken off the mud in most places, but her sweater was hanging down from the collar and framing her chest rather too well. Also, her shirt had gone completely translucent and the outline of her bra showed quite clearly.

Fine, what Mickey would do could wait. She decided then and there to do what Jackie Tyler would do and stumbled off to change clothes, glaring furiously at anyone who dared to turn their heads in her general direction.

When she reached the place where they had left the TARDIS, she discovered that Sod's Law had finally decided to finish her off. The TARDIS was gone.

Checking her pockets, she found she mercifully still had the Doctor's credit card, hallelujah for a small favor. The first three shops she entered, though, only carried men's clothes. The next didn't take credit. The next one had better be right or she was going to do a snatch and run and damn the consequences.

It turned out to be an intergalactic version of a department store. Her luck must be improving. The salesman who approached her, however, took one look at her, flushed with vivid embarrassment, and chivvied her back out again.

"And I am never shopping in this place again!" she shrieked out as her feet landed back on the sidewalk. She grinned with a furious sort of humor, and knew that the TARDIS translator had just rendered that in every language spoken around here. With any luck it would do some damage.

She tipped her useless shoes into a bin, and strode back to the men's store. Anyone looking at her would have thought she'd borrowed her companion's mad eyes to glare out at the world. A dignified old man walked over to her, eying her with contempt and no little worry. "Now see here, miss," he began.

"I need clothes and I need them fast. I am not impressed with this planet, nor am I impressed with the lack of proper service I keep encountering in the establishments of this world. I can pay, as you can see. You will never get anywhere in this business if you do not provide for customers. Appearance isn't everything, you know. People do have emergencies, me more than most, I admit. This is one such emergency and you are going to help me, whether you like it or not." She knew she sounded just like him at the moment and didn't care. She forced the Doctor's card into the man's hand. "Go on, check the balance, I dare you."

He sighed and nervously scanned the card with some laser looking device. It wouldn't have looked out of place back at the shop she used to work in before the Doctor blew it up.

The alien's eyes widened in alarm. "My apologies, Miss," he said. "I'll do everything I can to reassure you that our store will be quite satisfactory to assist in your... emergency."

"Good," she said and looked around. Her eyes lit on a small suit on a manikin near the door. Oh, that was just too much. Brilliant. "I'll have that one," she said, and smirked.

She found a pair of boy's loafers fit her fine and the suit was altered to her correct sizes in minutes by the clever application of their very interesting technology. Wouldn't her mum just adore that?

She binned her shirt and her sweater - they were a lost cause. However, the jeans she folded neatly into a bag the salesman supplied her.

"The trousers may be a bit long," the salesman told her, "but they'll..."

"Ride up with wear," she finished. "Yeah, saw that show myself."

She cheekily plucked a sharp blue tie from a nearby rack and did it up with only two tries. How long had it been since she had to put a tie on herself? Dressing for a grade school play, maybe?

Thanking the salesman most politely now that she had gotten her way, Rose strode out the door in a whirl of ecstatic pin stripes.

Desteria was part of the Second Great and Bountiful Human Empire, which the Doctor told her was now the First Great and Bountiful blah blah blah, because of the stupid Jagrafess and some Daleks with sensitive hearing. She wondered if he had guessed how full of it she knew he was with that line. He even defended it now, more than a year later, claiming he had had a terrible singing voice in his previous body. Right. Whatever. She'd actually heard him sing a few times - he sounded fine, even that time he and Jack were drunk. Although she did wonder if he realized he always sang in the shower.

Anyway, since it was Human - sorta - there was a very good chance of getting hold of a computer she could at least vaguely comprehend. Unless her luck was going to hold to its earlier god-awful standards, she should be capable of finding out where he was being held and why without having to resort to threatening the thing with the sonic screwdriver. Not that it was a credible threat, but what did computers know, anyway. They saw pin striped suit and screwdriver and curled up to plead for mercy. Still. She hoped.

Her luck was definitely improving. She found the library nearly empty and the computers easy to use, almost identical to Mickey's back home, even though the one she picked was a hundred times faster. They even had an internet of sorts. She decided to check what government problems were arising first.

Fisheries control. Forest restoration. Agricultural reports. Weather control. Tourist advisories.

Nothing about government problems. Or they weren't admitting they had a problem. She searched for people who thought otherwise.

The notices she found looked like blogs from America. This politician was spending too much, that one was on the wrong committees. This one had too much media influence, this one was past it, and that one was just a bad joke.

Nothing serious, then, just people whinging, as people will do.

So it probably wasn't the government. She kept searching and searching and searching.

Six hours later, she still had no idea who had taken the Doctor and why. Desteria was a banal little place in all aspects. There were no alien invaders, there were no rebellions, there were no old grudges, wars, or murderous power-mongering families. She was getting insanely desperate, not to mention worried.

She plugged in the words Time and Lord and got three hundred places that sold watches and a book that had been imported from old Earth for sale on an intergalactic version of e-Bay. She also got quite a bit on making better use of her time, which she agreed with, heartily, since she really wanted to be rescuing the Doctor right now, not learning how to make her solabread and nar-eggs in half the time, thanks.

They were like a bunch of aging hippies, all concerned with their environment and the love of every living creature.

She plugged in Gallifrey, just for the sake of argument.

It directed her to a list of endangered species, sentient and non-sentient alike. Gallifreyans were right at the top of one of the "believed to be extinct" lists.

These people were very, very much into endangered species, apparently, because the dodo was on one of their lists as well. It described how clone stock and careful breeding programs had been used to reintroduce the dodo to the galactic population.

Fascinating.

She read on and discovered, to her flabbergasted amazement, that this had also been tried on pure-blood humans. They told all about the small handful of pure blood humans who had been found on a half-dead worldlet in the next constellation over but one, the pairings that had been tried, the medicines that had been administered, the careful programs of diet, exercise, and entertainment, the clever little success stories, complete with pictures of baby Sean Michael and adorable little Tess. They went into loving, intricate detail, including how the pure humans would be placed in the best copy of their natural habitat on a planet to be called New Ravalox. Her eyes widened.

They wouldn't dare.

She clicked on a newly updated link.

They would.


	2. Chapter 2

**Part Two**

Rose forced herself to concentrate on not giggling as she arrived at the Destiny Natural Rehabilitation and Rehabitation Center for Endangered Lifeforms. She looked, she thought, suitably professional in her smart new suit. She reminded herself carefully that she was going to rescue the Last of the Time Lords from...

No, it was no good. She sat on the steps in front of the Center and howled with mirth. God, she was going to blackmail him with this one for the rest of their lives. She was going to call her mum. She was going to find a way to get a signal through to the parallel universe so she could tell Mickey. She was going to demand he tell her where Jack was so she could go tell Jack. She might even look up Adam, the complete useless nutter. This was too good to keep to herself.

She picked up her phone and was on the verge of dialing Sarah Jane's number, just to update the former companion and have someone to share in the penultimate moment of all her adventures with the Doctor. She's a reporter, Rose thought gleefully. She knows ALL his old friends.

She smirked then and put the phone in her pocket. Sarah Jane would be the number one person he would NOT want told. Her and the TARDIS, of course. It would not be worth holding over his head later if she told Sarah now.

She imagined the conversation in her head:

_"Doctor, I'd like to go shopping."_

_"No, Rose, you went shopping yesterday."_

_Pulling out her phone. "Oh Sarah, guess what..."_

_The coordinates reset on speed dial. "Super-Shop-O-Rama-World sound good?"_

Perfect.

She loved him, but this was too brilliant.

But it would all be for naught if she didn't wipe that smirk off her face right this instant, get in there and save him from ending up as the main character in one of Jack's famous stories.

The ones where everybody ended up naked.

Fantastic!

* * *

"Doctor Tyler," she said at reception and proffered the psychic paper, which should tell everyone she was with the Department of Research Funding and therefore gain her easy access to their new project. 

"We weren't told to expect you, Doctor Tyler," said the receptionist, dubiously.

Rose shot the man her best smile. It would work, of course, unless he was completely gay, and if Jack had been a proper example of sexuality from this time frame, she was sure it wouldn't be a problem.

It wasn't. He gazed at her in obvious adoration while Rose bubbled at him, enthusiastically. "A little bird told me," she said, "that you have the most amazing new development in your - sorry, our - Endangered Species Recovery Program. I came as quickly as I could, because I was just so excited to see such a positive development. Fantastic, don't you think? A mythological creature. It'd be just like having unicorns, don't you think?"

The man nodded, vacant-eyed and beaming at her while she grinned and babbled on. He even volunteered to call in the senior supervisor of the new project to meet her.

"Fantastic," Rose enthused.

When the supervisor, a tall, big-eyed brunette woman with faintly Asian features and slightly blue skin showed up, Rose enthused melodramatically at her, too. She had planned originally to pretend to be Doctor-like, but since these people seemed to be accepting her at face value, she decided to give them their money's worth. She poured on every damp ounce of charm she had ever possessed. She glittered, she sparkled, she smiled and nodded and listened in wide-eyed incredulity.

They really were doing something wonderful here, actually. It was a shame they had to take the Doctor, and it would be more of a shame if they forced him to use his usual tactics to get away from them. Best for all parties concerned if she could just get him loose quickly, quietly, and efficiently before he decided to "accidentally" blow the place to hell.

Come to think of it, she was curious why he hadn't already done that. She'd been hours hunting for him, and it was unlikely he'd've waited this long normally. Maybe it was because he didn't have the sonic screwdriver. She hoped.

"So tell me, Doctor Abbot," she said as they walked down the stairs together, "all about your latest find. I fancy myself something of an expert of that species, so I'd be glad to help out if I can."

"Oh, wonderful, Doctor Tyler!" the scientist gushed, completely taken by her charm. "If you don't mind my asking, what's your species and how do you come to be an expert on a mythological culture?"

"Oh, I'm Human," Rose said. "Full-blood, oddly enough. No idea how that happened." She grinned while Dr. Abbot beamed at her. "I studied them for a research project at University, and kept it up any time there was any information to be had. They're fascinating. Supposedly virtually immortal, oldest race in the galaxy, and humanoid besides, it's just fantastic, isn't it."

"Oh, wonderful!"

God, this was getting irritating.

"We've found a male of the species, and what appears to be a female symbiot."

She wracked her brain for the definition, but couldn't come up with anything conclusive. "Well, but the males always travel with at least one female, don't they?"

"That's what we hoped, but he appears to be alone. Poor, bitter thing. Last of his kind, or very near it. We imagine he's hurting very much from the loneliness."

"No doubt," Rose agreed, knowing that, at least, was completely accurate.

"We brought the symbiot to keep him company - no idea how they communicate, but hopefully he'll be happier with her around. She's blue, if you can believe it, not even trying to blend in."

Oh, the TARDIS. "Maybe she's a bit injured," Rose observed. She'd heard the Doctor's regular rant on the broken chameleon circuit at least three times in the past month, so she had an idea what to say to that. "Still, all the evidence I've picked up says they communicate telepathically."

"What, really!" Abbot rounded on her, goggle-eyed and excited. "Oh, telepathy!" she rhapsodized. "Oh, I just can't wait! He'll be so much happier when we help him."

Rose raised a hand to cover her giggle with a cough. "I'm terribly afraid, though, that this won't work. For one, you'd need a female."

"We'll think of something. A compatible cross-species genetic match may work, if we're careful of him." They came to the bottom of the flight of stairs to a door that said "Authorized Personnel Only." Doctor Abbott flipped a badge at the door, then escorted Rose through it.

All at once, Rose became completely aware of exactly why the Doctor hadn't escaped. He was being held in an enormous glass box, full of delicate ivory furniture, with the TARDIS in one corner, looking large, blue, and sulky. He was sprawled sideways on a Roman divan looking thing, wearing what looked like a soft white hospital gown. He looked blissfully unconcerned about his surroundings, and just to add to her blackmail fodder, was singing sweetly at the top of his lungs.

"Oh, no," she exclaimed, quite delighted. "What'd you give him? Their physiology is far superior, you know."

"We looked up a sedative in the Torchwood archives," Abbot said. "We gave him the recommended dose, and he threw that off almost immediately and began lecturing our staff extensively on why he should be left alone, so we boosted it with a recommendation from the UNIT records. They're astonishingly complete on Gallifreyan physiology, so we knew what not to give him, too."

"Absolutely NO aspirin," Rose said, a matter of great concern.

"Yes, the record was adamant about that. We don't want to hurt him. He's lovely, isn't he?"

Rose smiled at him, dangled upside down and singing to the ceiling. "Oh yes," she said with a smile. "This is very exciting. Can I take a closer look?"

"Sure, just walk on over."

"What's his name?" she asked to keep up her routine.

"He says 'Rose' all the time, so we thought about calling him that, but he doesn't seem to want to answer to it."

She beamed at him, her beautiful Doctor, all soft and silly and vulnerable. She wished she were in there with him, where she could protect him from what his addled brain might suggest next.

Too late.

He caught sight of her, fell off the divan and came racing over. He bounced a bit on the glass, but not hard enough to indicate that he hadn't known it was there. Sort of for emphasis, really. She firmly put down the hand that had been instinctively raised to help him.

He looked her over from toes to tip, slowly. Then, he smirked, that little maniacal smirk that suggested he was about to explode something really, really big with nothing more than a bottle of nail polish and a tin of spam. She worried. A lot.

"Doctor," he cried out, sounding relieved and frightened all at once. She looked at him closely, though, and saw that light twinkling ever brighter, the perverse little imp he called a sense of humor coming out like the stars on a dark night. "Doctor, you have to help me. I've been kidnapped by aliens, Doctor! Rescue me!"

She rolled her eyes. "Are you sure he's still drugged?" she asked Dr. Abbot. "Only, Time Lords are really intelligent, you know."

"Time Lords?" asked Doctor Abbot, looking down at a nearby screen to check her notes.

"Wide to sell Ben's hat!" the Doctor mouthed vigorously at her.

She thought about that a moment, and then translated it to "Why'd you tell them that!"

"They knew," she mouthed a reply.

"What shoe?" he said aloud.

"Oh," said Rose sheepishly. "I guess he is still, a bit, anyway." She put her hand to the glass and he put his up on the other side, eyeing her impatiently. "Time Lords are high-born Gallifreyans," she added.

"Time Lords are not amused," said the Doctor, sounding only slightly dazed. "Let the Time Lord out of the box. Now."

"Do they always refer to themselves in third person?" asked Dr. Abbot.

"No, he's annoyed, I think. Probably doesn't realize you're trying to help him." She said that last extra loudly, so he would catch on that he wasn't in any danger, and that she was trying to work out how to get him free as quickly as possible.

He turned those blazing eyes on her and then, running a hand through his hair, moved away. When he came back, he was smiling at her a little and had his eyes under control.

"He doesn't talk much?" Rose asked, rather alarmed as she realized that the Doctor silent was actually far more frightening to her than any amount of arguing or shouting could ever be.

"Oh, he can if he wants to. I think you're right, he's a bit put out with us. He went on and on about the Shadow Proclamation and several other very odd intergalactic laws I've never heard of earlier. Plus, he's a bit dazed." She was still checking her computer terminal and hadn't looked up at the two interacting at the window in awhile.

He looked sheepish as Rose rounded on him, annoyed that he would be breaking his own rules and giving away information that didn't exist yet. He pleaded with her with his eyes and she sighed. Then she smirked. "Oh, such a precious person," she cooed at him, like he was about six months old. "Pretty Time Lord."

His glower was thunderous. She grinned at him cheekily and he held up one finger as if to start in on a lecture to make her ears bleed.

"Hum. Time for his next dose," said Dr. Abbot. She pushed a small button on her panel and the Doctor rounded on her in fury. He remained solidly and firmly stormy eyed and normal for a minute, drew in a breath, probably planning to turn the lecture on Abbot instead, and then, as if he'd been hit with a brick, dropped to the floor.

Rose stared down at him, filled with desperate fear, and put her hand down near where the Doctor's face rested against the glass. He turned his head, as if to feel her hand, then looked up at Rose with an expression that nearly stopped her heart.

He had gone doe-eyed and sweet faced, innocent and utterly content. For the first time in the entire time she had known him, he seemed absolutely at peace.

Heartbreakingly lovely and soft as new dawn, he smiled contentedly into her eyes. He began humming and playing with the hem of his gown. Rose began to wonder if she shouldn't get in there before he found something to put into his mouth.

They had drugged the storm right out of him, she realized. There were no dark worries, no ancient fears. Somewhere, probably, the Universe was now spinning out of control and no one would fix it, because the Atlas who normally held it all on his slender shoulders was instead gazing wistfully at her with an expression of vacant awe and ineffable joy.

Then, as sweet and tender as he now looked, his voice came softly. _"Everything is better with two. Stars and danger, Earth, the flu. I saved my life with just one line. 'It travels in time' and she was mine. Roses are red, except my one. She's pink and yellow, like her sun."_

Rose beamed at him as he rambled on his dizzy, silly, darling couplets.

_"She says she's not so very clever. But then she said she'd stay forever. And that's so brilliant even I can't trump it so I'll never try. She likes me more than she likes chips. She even likes my strange old ship. That's my Rose, my perfect friend. Her mum will kill me in the end. The blokes may court her by the score, Mickey, Jack, and many more. They circle round her for awhile, caught in her eyes, her heart, her smile. She just walks out and saves the day, shining, laughing on her way. I want to keep her, hold her near, see her glow, erase her fear. Alone, I'm lost, no place to stand, without my Rose to hold my hand."_

"Good gracious."

Rose turned to find Doctor Abbot, wide eyed and breathless, looking from him to her and back at him, the alien woman's expression almost hungry with want and wonder. Rose cleared her throat and blinked away the tears that filled her eyes at his sweet, spontaneous poem. "Wasn't Shakespeare," she said.

"No but... my goodness."

The Doctor blinked at them both, still vacant eyed and sweet. "I know Bill Shakespeare," he said. "And I'm no Bill Shakespeare."

"It was nice, though," Rose told him.

"Thanks," he said, and stood up. He wandered seemingly aimlessly over to a fine, delicate chair, making a path that took him around almost all the furniture in the room on his way. At last, he seated himself like a small boy, his knees tucked up to his chin, his bare feet visible as he pulled his hospital robe down to cover his thin legs. He watched her, then, with all the faith and innocent devotion of the child he resembled, and Rose was forced to turn away, lest she break down.

Doctor Abbot stared at her in consternation. Rose decided to get back on topic before the woman wised up and started asking impossible questions. "You said something about finding him a compatible mate?" she said, her smile, though blunted, back in place.

"Oh, right. Yes." Doctor Abbot grinned sheepishly. "After seeing that, I'd almost..." She blushed.

"Definitely," agreed Rose, blushing herself. Then she cleared her throat. "His species just seems to have that effect on people."

Doctor Abbot gave a great sigh that sounded like relief. "Oh. And then, in combination with our atmosphere, it would be..."

Rose decided then and there that it didn't matter how sweetly precious he looked, she was going to kill him and the TARDIS both when she got them out. Bring_ her_ to a planet where the very air made you want to... She tossed out a soft, discordantly chiming swear word.

"Am not," said the Doctor, and blushed.

Rose wondered what she had just called him.

"Did you know you have a halo?" he asked her. "Nimbus, like a Nimbus 2000, only sparkles, not a broomstick." He stopped and looked at her in frustration. "Velcro," he explained.

"Right," said Rose, and shook her head.

He nodded and smiled at her, tenderly, like a lost angel.

"Doctor Abbot," a young man in a lab coat came flapping in, darting around the monitors and bouncing so ecstatically Rose couldn't even get a look at him. Without preamble or even pause, he thrust a little computer tablet into the woman's startled hand. "We've got his blood work back, and we even had a decent match or two. Of course, the best possible match won't happen probably, and the second best is almost as impossible, but we've got some viable ideas. It might be possible to get the second best, might even be better, you can never tell, but it will damage other projects, and I know we don't like to do that, but really, we're not going to find a Gallifreyan female anywhere, and he's hardly likely to be attracted to a female who doesn't at least resemble his species, so honestly, our best bet..."

"He's stealing my behavioral problem, Rose," the Doctor whinged by way of interruption.

Bet he doesn't lick everything and everyone he comes across, she thought sourly.

"What species do you suggest, Dr. Krishin?" asked Dr. Abbot. "Oh, this is Dr. Tyler, by the way," she introduced Rose vaguely.

Dr. Krishin looked at her with obvious delight and Rose realized that there was very little if any human in him. He looked oddly like a cross between an Irish Setter and that bright pink ottoman her mum had at home in her sparkly atrocity of a bedroom. "Oh, this is just too wonderful. Dr. Tyler, so pleased to meet you," he said and, to her complete astonishment, lifted her hand and licked it.

Behind her, the Doctor giggled.

"You're... human?" he ventured, now bouncing on his toes.

"Yeeaaah," Rose said, slowly and with great concern.

Doctor Abbot finished reading the report and her expression suddenly matched Doctor Krishin's. Rose felt like she'd suddenly been added to the menu, right between the fish and chips and the burger platter.

"Purely in the interest of science, Dr. Tyler," said Dr. Abbot, "do you have a partner or husband?"

"Nooo..." Again, she spoke slowly, worried that she was spelling out her doom in very short words and at least wanting to extend it a few breaths. "Why?" she asked, as they continued to gaze at her in delighted wonder.

"Well, our charts suggest that a human being - a full-blooded one, young and healthy, such as yourself, would probably be the most viable match."

Rose took a step back and stared at them.

"Purely in the interest of science," said Dr. Krishin, helpfully.

"You did say you wanted to help any way you could," added Dr. Abbot.

Rose just gaped at them in silent confusion. Behind her, the Doctor had started humming again, and all at once, he burst into song. "Come dancing," he sang gleefully. "It's only natural."

Rose was proud of herself for not fainting on the spot.


	3. Chapter 3

**Part Three**

"All right," said Rose, trying to sound as indignant as possible. She was a bit indignant, actually. These people were falling right into her hands, and if it was all too easy, she'd never be able to brag to the Doctor how she single handedly rescued him from a fate worse than... Well, a fate worse than domestic, really, because all in all, it didn't sound too bad to her. She figured that was the atmosphere talking and tried to firmly put it out of her mind. "You're saying you want me to go in the box with him, and see if I can get him to 'respond.'" She put air quotes around "respond" because it helped with the indignant bit.

They beamed at her. "Exactly. We'll be observing of course, so you'll be completely safe."

"Um. With a Time Lord who's been drugged into insensibility." She grinned. "I'm not worried about my safety, I'm worried about him being... insensible."

"Do you think that would present a problem?"

"Honestly? Yes. But if we're just seeing if he likes me, I suppose it would be the easiest way to go about it."

"Oh, good," said Dr. Abbot, and stood up to shake her hand. "Dr. Tyler, it's a privilege to have you join us. As a woman of science, myself, I can understand that it must be very strange for you to attempt an experiment like this."

Rose laughed. "We used to do experiments like this all the time when we were younger. Only we called them pulling."

Dr. Abbot giggled. "How well I remember," she agreed. "Still, he is reciting poetry at you. Perhaps you remind him of this 'Rose' he talks about."

"Hope so." She straightened her suit coat, feeling the firm weight of the sonic screwdriver against her hip. "Well," she said. "Here goes nothing."

Then she had a quick thought. "They probably won't breed in captivity, so I'd suggest we kind of dim the lights and stuff. Sort of... set the mood?" She tried very hard not to giggle, but Dr. Abbot looked like she was about to join Rose in girlish laughter. Dr. Krishin thumped his tail against his chair and beamed at them.

They let her into the box moments later, then dimmed the lights and left the room. She found the Doctor still sitting in his chair, now looking quite sulky and bored. He was obviously fighting off the effect of the drug, but she could tell by his wide eyes that kept staring quite through her that he hadn't got there yet.

"Hello," she said. "I'm Doctor Tyler."

"Come to help me repopulate my species?" he said, but he didn't sound too thrilled. Not that she'd wanted him to sound thrilled. Thrilled Doctor meant bad things, because it meant he liked the idea and would be willing to do everything in his considerable power to see to it. Which would be bad because... because...

Well, she knew she'd had a good reason earlier and whatever it was, it would have to do.

"Well... why don't we talk about that?"

"Because we never talk about that," he said. "Told you I don't do domestic. I'd sit the kid down in the Console Room and turn around to tell off some mad despot, and the child would have rewired the immediately essential part of the TARDIS into a fizzy drink dispenser before I got to the surrender or die bit."

"Wow," she said.

"You can't leave Gallifreyan kids anywhere near technology. I went to a funfair when I was really young, and there was this girl, and she accused me and my mates of wanting to take apart the ferris wheel."

"OK," said Rose, rather baffled at this odd revelation about his childhood.

"We probably would have done," he added sheepishly.

"Well, that would be a problem," she agreed, fighting off a grin from her mind's image of a teenaged Doctor. For some reason, he had dark hair.

"Then of course, there's Jack. I'd have to say something like 'Kids, this is your Uncle Jack. Except on Tuesdays, then he's your Aunt Jack.'"

Rose laughed at that one, unable to help herself picturing the Captain's dubious expression in her head.

He smiled back at her. "I'd stand and play proper host, but everything looks funny right now, and I really wouldn't advise you to back up."

"Why?"

"There's a pink elephant right behind you, and it appears to be trying to sing Wagner. You can never tell them that Wagner's not for beginners or elephants, they just take one look at the latest Brunhilda and have to give it a go."

She grinned and walked over to him, putting a hand out to touch his cheek.

"Wouldn't your mother object to me impregnating you?" he asked. "Aside from the age difference, I mean." He smirked. "I can almost hear her now. Which would be bad, come to think of it, because if she knew this had been suggested, I'd be able to hear her from here anyway. Even without the radio receivers I used to call ears."

Rose just grinned and took his arm. "Why didn't you just go inside and hide?"

"She's mad at me and won't let me in and besides they locked her away, and the rest is so terribly secret because I can't be stupid and give everything away. Even if I feel really incredibly stupid at the moment."

"I am never, ever going to let you forget you said that."

"C'mon, let's go, I have to go look up Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart and tell your mother he said she looked stupid in peach."

"Why?" she asked, helping him across the room, carefully so as to seem extremely non-chalant.

"So she'll slap him," he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I can't hit him, he's a friend!"

"But you'll set my mum on him?" She rolled her eyes. "Hope he's poor and married."

"Don't step on that, I don't know what it is, and that's saying something."

She looked down and, not seeing anything, just kept moving.

"And don't you love the Gallifreyan decor in this place? S'perfect - right down to being watched all the bloody time. Try setting 615."

She nodded, pulled out the screwdriver, and touched it to setting 615. There was an agonized whine from somewhere overhead, like a speaker about to be sung through by her mum, drunk. "Let's go, Doctor," she said.

"I'm not the Doctor, right now," he said. "The Doctor is out, or you're the Doctor, one or the other, can't be too sure. Must be the suit. Coulda sworn I was wearing it earlier, but it looks surprisingly good on you. Actually, it'd look better on the floor, but we'll ignore that, shall we, for the moment? Let's get to the TARDIS, best place to repopulate my species. Can you imagine it, a ship full of tiny Rose Tylers."

"Only with your bloody cheek, no doubt," she huffed. "I'll never be able to get a word in edgewise again for the rest of my life."

"Could be worse. Could be little Jackies."

"Don't make me smack you."

"Watch out for the tree," he suggested.

She walked non-chalantly through the tree only he could see.

"Can't get this bloody door unlocked," she said grimly, referring to the glass box around the TARDIS.

"Turn it inside out," he suggested, unhelpfully.

The doors started flying open in the lab. Somewhere in the building, Rose imagined she could hear sirens going off.

"Time to run," he said, caught her hand, and, with a quick flick of her wrist where she held the screwdriver, opened the door to the box.

Rose stuffed the key into the TARDIS door and they flung it open, just as Doctor Abbot and Doctor Krishin came bursting into the lab, looking quite betrayed.

Rose shoved the Doctor into the TARDIS, fell in after him, tripped over his shoes, and landed on him in a rather undignified sprawl.

"Are we going to repopulate my species right this instant, then? If you give me a few minutes, the magic fairy dust will stop making me imagine you in a bunny suit and it'll probably be easier."

"We're not going to repopulate your species," she said, huffily. "Can you work the console?"

"Not without my suit."

"Doctor!" she yelped.

"What!" he yelped back.

"Work the console."

"No. I want my clothes." He turned that wide eyed pout on her, and it was all she could do not to just give up and snog him senseless. Must be some of the planet's atmosphere still in her head. ...Or his breathless voice next to her ear murmuring, "Take them off."

"I'm not wearing your clothes," she told him, though how she managed not to stammer was completely beyond her.

"Oh." He looked almost devastated. "Damn." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively and put a shaking hand up next to her face. "You'd look cute in my boxers."

Rose sighed. "Can't we just get out of here?"

"I need my trousers. It's getting a bit drafty in here and, besides, the TARDIS doesn't like nude people to fly her. She thinks there a party going on and she's missing it."

"You're not nude," she said, clenching her teeth to keep from throttling him. Or checking to see if...

"It's a hospital gown, Rose. What do they usually let you wear under hospital gowns?"

"Fine!" she said and rolled off of him, getting to her feet gingerly. "Go over there, sit down, and wait for me. Do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars, and do NOT leave without me."

"I'd never," he said. "Never ever. No place to stand and all that jazz."

"You're not going to remember any of this, tomorrow, are you?"

"No, why?" He got up and went to the jump seat where he sat down - on his hands, she noticed - and watched her expectantly.

"Good," she said, and all the exasperation she had experienced for the entire day finally caught up with her. "Because I could absolutely throttle you for bringing me here. Did you know the air is an aphrodesiac? When I ask you about it tomorrow, you'd better lie and tell me 'no'. Because I don't want to know what was going on in your fuzzy head, now or earlier, all right? We went to that restaurant and I wanted to throw you on the table. Not fair. I tried to get away from you - yeah, I admit it. And I ended up talking to someone every bit as insane as my mum about vibrators, which would help, but oh my god! And then it starts pouring and I got hit on by a creep that makes Jack look like the Virgin Mary and then you get dragged off like something off of Wild Kingdom. And I ended up covered in mud and had to bully some annoyingly stuck up old sod into selling me these clothes, so that's why I'm dressed like you, although I admit it was funny. And then, I found you, which took hours, so be glad I got here at all. Then I had to break in. I was going to tease you about it, and now I can't because they wanted to shove me in the box with you, which ruined my fun. And all you can say is 'Can we repopulate my species?' Tell you what, I'm doing all I can not to jump you right this minute. But you won't ask when you're sane, so let's just forget all about it. When people ask 'Have you ever been to Desteria?', we'll say 'Never heard of it.' OK?"

Then, before he could respond to any of that, she ran out the door and looked around expectantly.

"Hi," she said sheepishly.

"Doctor Tyler!" said Dr. Abbot, in shock.

"Yeah. Well, maybe. I'm his Rose, that's all."

"Oh," said the alien woman, looking quite distressed.

"Look, what you're doing here, it's brilliant, it really is. Please don't stop on our account. But the Doctor... he's not somebody to mess with. He isn't safe. He's blown more places up by accident than entire armies can do on purpose. He's good, don't look like that." She sighed at the woman looking at her in horror. "It's just, he's got a job to do, is all. No room for domestics or baby Time Lords or romantic interludes with random humans. He's the last of his kind, you were right, but the Universe doesn't let up just because he's on his own. Things break, all the time, and he's got to be there to fix them."

"But he must be terribly lonely."

"Usually," Rose said sadly.

"But he's got you," she added.

"Yes." Then, she grinned to push it all away. "But what he wants, if you can believe it, is his suit."

"In the cupboard," said Doctor Krishin, also looking distraught.

"It's ok," said Rose, walking over to get the suit out of the locked cupboard with a quick twitch of the screwdriver. Then, she nearly screamed in annoyance, because there was her bag, the swim bag she thought had been stolen. The Doctor had swapped it, too.

She sighed and turned to the aliens again. "Look, just, let's forget it. He's not going to remember, and if you write up that it was a catalog error or something and blame a computer, everything will be fine. I'll need that vial of his blood, too."

"The sample was used up in the analysis. We'll have to destroy the slides, just to cover it up," said Dr. Abbot.

Rose studied the woman carefully. Her face was innocent of any kind of guile or threat. "OK," she said. "I'm trusting you. But you'd better be sure, because he won't leave it lying around and if he finds out you've got it or someone bad has got it off you... well, let's just say you'll wish I'd let him blow the place up the first time." She looked from one to the other, compelling her eyes to match his for sincerity. "He doesn't believe in second chances, but I believe you mean no harm and he believes me. Please don't make me a liar, because if you do, I won't even try to stop him. I won't want to."

They looked nervously at her. "You have my word," Dr. Krishin said at last.

"And mine," added Dr. Abbot. She sighed. "It was nice to meet you, Dr. Tyler."

Rose grinned. "I can't tell you how relieved I was to find nice people with no running for our lives. Look, I'd best get going, before he sobers up and dies of embarrassment. Thanks for everything."

Dr. Abbot grinned. "Come see us. We have some suggestions you might want to try if your beauty and his faith aren't enough."

Rose blushed. Laughing, she waved them off, tumbled toward the TARDIS door, and returned to her home.

The Doctor was sitting exactly where she'd left him, and some sultry jazz was playing from the console. Rose shook her head and grimaced. "Your clothes," she said, and dropped them at his feet. "Can you work the console, now?"

"Yep!" he said, and bounced up to do just that. "Think so. Where do you want to go?"

"Somewhere without funny air, this time," she said.

He looked decidedly wired as they hit the Vortex. "That'll wait," he said. "We were going to repopulate my species. I distinctly remember you agreeing to that."

"So you're still out of it," she said.

"Yep," he agreed. "Stoned immaculate, to quote the expert. Don't worry. I'll sober up in a bit, I think. Now that I've got their little remote control gone."

He gestured at a small device lying on the console and she stared at it in distaste until she realized he'd moved into her personal space - her _very_ personal space. He was pressed up against her, leaning over her shoulder and breathing cool, tantalizing air against her ear. She met his gaze to find his eyes nearly black and so breathtaking that she could hardly remember her name.

"You're still wearing my clothes," he whispered.

"No, I'm not," she squeaked, jumping toward the pile and nudging it with her foot. "They're right here."

"Oh," he said, sadly, considering his suit carefully. "Doesn't look so hot on the floor after all, does it?"

"Not really. Why don't you put them back on?"

"Good idea," he agreed. "Thanks."

He pulled his gown off over his head right there and Rose turned away quickly before she saw more than she wanted... more than... ok, before she saw exactly what she wanted but under entirely the wrong circumstances.

He whistled as he dressed, then apparently thought of something because he stopped and cleared his throat.

"Yes?" she said.

"Well, we're not going to get my species repopulated if I put all this back on."

"Did they brainwash you, too?" she demanded, determined to make him take her back so she could blow up the lab herself if they had.

"No. Don't think so. It just sounds like fun."

"Ask me again tomorrow," she said, resigned.

"Don't think I won't," he challenged.

She rolled her eyes. "Are you dressed yet?"

He sighed. "Yeah. You like?"

She turned around and smiled at him. "Yeah, you're beautiful."

"I know," he agreed, looking both cute from the drugs and smug from his usual attitude. "We match." He offered her a hand and wiggled it.

She took the offered hand. "Yeah, we do," she agreed. He pulled her into a spontaneous and slightly dizzy dance around the console.

It wasn't easy to dance with a drugged Doctor, but she gave it a go for awhile. She finally gave up when he spun away from her to argue with the TARDIS about why she had allowed penguins on board. Rose was absolutely certain the TARDIS was laughing hysterically at both of them, though she didn't know how she knew this.

She reclined on the sofa and watched the Doctor talk to the rabbits that didn't exist. But when he started trying to make up music to go with his poem, she'd had all she could take.

"Time for bed, Doctor," she said.

"Good," he said, caught her hand, and proceeded to half-lead, half-drag her toward the door.

She let him take her to her room, let him shed his coat and vest and dress shirt, as well as his trainers. She even dropped hers beside his. "Now, get in the bed and go to sleep," she said.

"Ok, if you want," he agreed. "But you have to answer one question first." He sat down on the bed and reached over to tug her with him.

"Yes?" she said breathlessly.

"What is this?" he asked, holding up a small package that he'd apparently unwrapped and opened.

She sighed and wished the floor would swallow her. Then, again, he'd already agreed that he wouldn't remember any of this, so whatever. She took the box, put the lid back on it and stuffed it into a drawer, trying to think of something witty to say. After everything, it seemed her brain had finally given up, though. "Nevermind," she said after a moment. "Just close your eyes and tomorrow it'll all be over."

"Even the desire to repopulate my species?" he asked, sounding quite innocent.

"Probably," she agreed and curled up next to him. "But if it isn't, be sure to let me know."

"Don't worry," he said, and somehow managed to fit a leg in between hers - thankfully only between her knees. Any higher and all her resolutions might have been blown to hell. "I'll tell you first." He closed his eyes and his breathing evened out. She watched him for a moment, then closed her own eyes.

"Tiny Rose Tylers," he mused. Then he giggled -actually giggled - and, wrapping his arms around her, dropped into the sleep of the heavily drugged.

Tiny Doctors, she thought, wistfully, and followed him into sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

I originally ended to end it with Chapter 3, but everyone was so nice to me and I loved your comments so much, I have checked to see what happened the next day. And here it is.

**_As I am a professional writer and have work to do to get paid, I have decided to deal with these thudding plot bunnies in the traditional manner - I will inflict them on others. Please see my Profile for the Challenges of the Month. The first set will run through the end of March. Please let me know when you respond to a Challenge so I can read and review._**

* * *

**Epilogue: The Morning After**

Rose woke with a start because she felt something astonishingly cold behind her ear. She yelped, because one does not expect to be woken from a dead sleep in one's own bed by a cold nose when one does not own a puppy.

The cold whatever retreated with a mumbled, "Sorry, Rose."

Oh, that's right, she thought. There's a Time Lord in bed with me. If she remembered correctly, he'd confessed to being a "stoned immaculate" Time Lord around about the time he ended up here. She wondered if he was better now.

She waited.

"Rose?" he said, sounding nervous and baffled at the same time.

She smirked. Yep, all better now. "Yes, Doctor?" she purred suggestively. He had it coming, since she now couldn't blackmail him about everything that happened on Desteria after all.

"Erm. Good morning?" he ventured, weakly.

"Fantastic morning," she replied, still in that sultry tone.

"Um... what's going on?" he asked.

Her grin widened, and she hid it by pulling the covers up over her lips. "You tell me," she invited.

She expected him to babble something incoherent and try to get out of there faster than humanly possible. She expected him to stammer some explanation for something utterly irrelevant and blush so brightly she'd be able to feel it through the covers since she was pressed so close to him. She even expected that he might just yelp and vanish - she'd always believed it was possible for him to do that. What she didn't expect was for him to go absolutely still and silent.

So of course, that was what he did.

She waited a few moments, to see if he would do anything she expected, or anything she hoped for, or in fact anything at all. Instead, he might have disappeared altogether, except that she could hear the soft whisper of his breathing and feel the steady thrum of his hearts where his chest rested against her back.

Finally, curiosity won and Rose turned over to find him staring blankly up at the ceiling as if trying to read hidden messages there.

Maybe he could do that, too.

"Doctor?"

"Hum? Sorry, I was... trying to... erm. Yes. What were you saying?"

She gave a breathy chuckle and, since he was so close and so edgy, she put a hand up to run it along his jaw. His muscles twitched under her touch, but he didn't pull away. She brushed at the bristly brown stubble. This would be interesting to wake up to every morning, really.

Bad Rose.

"I was asking you what happened."

"You don't know?" His eyes pleaded with her.

"S'my bed," she answered with some asperity, dodging the question.

"O...K." He looked so astonished, she wondered for a moment if he'd never ended up in a situation where he honestly didn't have any idea what to do.

"Well, it's just there are definitely clothes involved," he began, at high speed. "My suit, I think, and what I was thinking sleeping in that I'll probably never know. Normally when one ends up baffled in bed with a pretty girl, there's very little clothes involved, which I admit would be a problem, since I rather think I'd prefer to remember something like that."

She blushed and grinned, amused and delighted at the same time.

He smiled. "I was supposed to ask you something, Rose. Do you remember what it was?"

His mad question of yesterday popped unbidden into her mind. She nearly groaned aloud in frustration. He'd been frisky and flirtatious and dangerously attractive and beautiful and it had been all she could do to keep from jumping him. He'd invited her, point blank, with his words and his smile and come-hither eyes and... why had he landed her on a planet with air that made you want...

"Doctor," she asked, "let's say there's a planet out there with an atmosphere that makes you want... well... makes _me_ want... um..."

"We'll just leave it at that," he said, pushing her hair away from her face. "I think you're going to spontaneously combust from all that blushing." He smirked at her and she couldn't decide whether she wanted to punch his face or snog him stupid. "There's several planets out there with chemicals in the atmosphere that humans react to in that manner. Why?"

"Can you think of any reason, any one at all, why you'd want to take me to such a place?" She knew her voice was cross and stern, but she was going to get an answer out of him, if it killed him.

He blinked at her, but she thought, maybe, just maybe, did he look... "Ohhh, yes, you see, most of those planets are very peaceful, and quite a few of them have become resorts with the most incredible sights and views. Usually, there's mountains, too, and those are always nice, I like mountains, you know, as long as I don't have to climb for my life, and I think they're very pretty to look at. Oh, and on Waupang, you can try out various sports, any sort of sport you can think of, and there's Seegro Carolia, with all the artist communities - not those snooty galleries, you understand, but genuine art, close to the world, and you can get some of the most beautiful things, practically for a song, and the pottery, oh, exquisite..."

He was babbling at a rate she'd actually never heard before. Yep, she thought, smugly. Guilty as sin. But of what? She had absolutely no idea and couldn't form her mouth to ask.

"Maiszia, it has pink clouds, look like spun sugar, and the sunsets, well, they say in that part of the Galaxy that you haven't lived 'til you've seen 'em. Then, on Lawren, they make candy. I realize that sounds odd, but we're talking candy like you imagine exists when you're a very little child, candy that looks like hunger and smells like laughter and tastes... oh, it tastes divine. The chocolate there, it's like silk, and they make this ice cream with it..."

He was as beautiful as sin, too, dammit.

"What about Desteria?" she asked.

He stopped mid-rant and considered her with careful eyes. "Never heard of it," he said.

She stopped. He'd taken her there. She knew he'd taken her there, how was it he could claim he'd... Waitaminit.

"Oh my GOD!" she shrieked. "You remember!!!"

"Time Lord," he replied smugly.

She jumped up from the bed, still screeching like the shrew she suddenly felt she might very well be. Snatching up her pillow, she lit in to him, tell him off as loudly as her voice could go and using the pillow for punctuation. "You!" _whack_ "Evil!" _thud_ "Conniving!" _whack_ "Sick!" _thud thud_ "Sadistic" _pummel_ "Demented!" _whack thud whack..._

"Sexy?" he ventured as she hunted for more words. She hit him again, so he rolled over on his stomach, and hid his head under his pillow.

"YES!" _Thud pummel_ "Arrogant!" _whack thud_ "Insane!" _thud slam thud_ "Alien!" _whack th..._

His arms shot out of his cocoon faster than the human eye could follow. He snatched the pillow with one and the other somehow circled Rose's waist. Before she could get off a good scream or even a small yelp of protest, he dragged her down onto the bed, rolling as he went. She came to rest on top of him, sprawled awkwardly, her face inches from his, her chest heaving from her overwrought emotions.

She didn't dare move, because she couldn't without getting into a compromising position. She almost didn't dare breathe because the look in his eyes was dark and challenging and so intense it burned.

"I remembered what I was supposed to ask you, Rose," he said, an arrogant, beautiful smirk twitching his lips into temptation. His voice sounded like seduction itself, turned audible and given to one man, one alien, and she was lying. on. top. of. him.

"Yes, Doctor?" she breathed.

He tilted his head and looked at her, letting one of her hands loose so he could reach up and brush her burning cheek. She was going to melt, right here.

"What was the pink thing in the box?" he whispered.

Rose stiffened, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. Evil alien menace. "I hate you," she told him, quite calmly.

He laughed merrily and wrapped his arms around her, straightening her body a bit with careful hands. Damn.

"I love you too," he said.


End file.
